Dating is an important phase in finding a person’s match. But it is far from being solely a delightful experience. It can be more appropriately described as nerve-wracking. Some give up on it altogether. Some do it with the anticipated dread that everything will go downhill. How can one regain a sense of anticipation and optimism when it comes to dating? Here are some ideas that might help:
Practice Sharing Relevant Information
People have many dating fears. One of them is the fear of rejection. A professional matchmaker in Houston can help with this. In finding a potential match, this expert will conduct an in-depth interview with you. They will prompt you to disclose important details about yourself. Also, there will be a date coaching to prepare you and give some tips on how to put your best foot forward.
Another viable option is to practice holding conversations with a dear friend. The aim is for you to open up and beat the fear of judgment.
Focus on the Present
When on a date, the mind has a way of playing tricks on you. It can rehash past dates that did not work out. It can also transport you to the future and assail you with doubts about why it might not work.
The only antidote to this is to practice mindful dating. Be at the moment. Focus on the person in front of you. Enjoy what you are doing at the moment. Do not rewind or fast forward things. It will steal your joy.
Dates in coffee shops somehow feel like a job interview. It becomes a series of questions and answers. Sometimes, you have to rack your mind with conversation starters. This is not the case in activity dates.
Ask beforehand about the one interest you have in common. If it is biking, then go on a biking date. More of the poet type? Enjoy poetry reading events together. This way, the conversation will gravitate toward this common interest. Also, you do not have to keep talking all the time. Silence will be companionable and not awkward.
Debunk the “Soulmate” Myth
If you have not figured it out yet, there is no “perfect one.” This phrase put a lot of pressure on both men and women throughout time. The truth is that there are great matches for you out there. No magic, destiny, or kismet will bring that person to you. Dating is one way to proactively search for that someone.
Be True to Yourself (and Let Your Date Be, Too)
If you are on the lookout for a long-lasting relationship, authenticity is key. Putting your best foot forward is not bad. But eventually, you have to let your hair down. Your date will appreciate seeing you being more true to yourself.
Likewise, give this gift to your date, as well. Do not expect that person to be flawless. Nobody likes to be around a perfectionist or an idealist.
Learn the Art of Patience
One date will not determine the direction of your relationship. After the primary date, give each other time to process things. You do not have to jump immediately on a second date. Give yourself a time frame to know if you want to take things to the next level. If not, be sure to tell the other party and move on. If yes, tell the other person as well and move forward.
Dating is not frustrating per se. The people’s misconceptions of it are what make it a difficult field to navigate. Have a mind shift and see the difference.